On Orgasms and Blasphemy

deviance, Orgasms, Sex

I’m a big fan of the orgasm. BIG fan. In my opinion, it is the single greatest, pure, and euphoric pleasure in this life that you can have for free…for nothing…no cost…

It’s a fantastic pastime, a hobby really, I mean seriously…every other hobby I tried didn’t last more than a few weeks…

Netball – Six weeks

Hockey – Eight weeks

Brownies (that’s Girl Guides to most of the rest of the world) – Two weeks

Judo – Two weeks

Horse Riding – Six months, actually…there has to be some connection, there…

But orgasming? Still a committed member of that particular club, and as you get older, it becomes a fucking team sport! You can play solo, with a partner, in doubles, in groups…

When I was younger I figured there was only one type of orgasm, it took me years to learn that I was wrong…and suddenly, there was a whole new world of orgasmic delight just waiting for me to experiment with!

So, without further ado, I’ve categorised just a few that we all know and love, because, well, I’m bored, and who doesn’t like orgasms?

#1 – The Silent One – We’ve all done it! Don’t pretend you haven’t! That one you absolutely need, but you can’t let on to anyone that you’re doing it! Seriously, I am the Master of the Silent Orgasm! I can get myself off in utter silence, without making a move, while sharing a bed with a sleeping counterpart, and they will be none the wiser…It takes some skill to perfect, and some serious self-control, but it can be done…and Hallelujah, you can be orgasming anytime, anyplace, anywhere…

#2 – The Necessary One – You know the one I mean…It’s not really about the build up, or about getting turned on, you just need the relief. I always found orgasms helped me sleep, so if I’m having trouble sleeping, I’ll take one for the team…Bingo! Lights out! Job Jobbed.

#3 – The Half Arsed One – This one can happen on your own, or with a partner. It just needs to get done now. The epitomical moment has passed, and for whatever reason, it just didn’t happen. Now you’re willing to take whatever you can get…It happens, it’s great, it’s not Earth shattering, but it’ll do…for now.

#4 – The Oh Fuck I Needed That One – It’s been a while…for whatever reason you haven’t been able to pull off (no pun intended, guys, I know you get this too!) a Silent, Necessary, or even Half-Arsed One, so when you get the chance, it’s fucking awesome! It’s a wonderful release of tension, endorphins, adrenaline…It puts a huge smile on your face and you’re pretty fucking pleased with yourself. You can now go about your day without that horrible ‘Fuck-Me-Mist’ that has you picturing everyone naked and wondering if the guy you just walked past has is a ‘Show-er’ or a ‘Grow-er’…(Sorry…is that a British turn-of-phrase? Let me know….)

#5 – The ‘I’m Gonna Cry’ Cathartic One – This one is most definitely reserved for partner-play…It’s a Sonic-Boom of an explosion that pushes every emotion out of your very being and leaves your body not knowing exactly what to with itself…So what does your body do when it reaches that cataclysmic pinnacle? It cries…

#6 –The Blaspheming One – My personal favourite. Definitely not a solo event…The one so good it almost hurts. That peak is just so damn, fucking, insanely, amazing that you lose control of your brain-to-mouth filter and just start randomly worshiping deities out loud, like praying to the orgasm Gods is going to get you through the crescendo and wait…did I just have a near death experience?…Is that a white fucking light? “Oh God! Oh God! Oh Jesus Fucking Christ! FUCK, OH GOD!!!”

#7 – Oh! And of course….The Fake One! 😉

6 thoughts on “On Orgasms and Blasphemy

  1. –>#1 – The Silent One

    Oh, this is giving me ideas for a workplace fantasy. I love the idea of some “dressed to impress” corporate beauties having silent orgasms under her desk as she stumbles upon the erotic writings of one of her co-workers… Hmmm… Maybe she finds some real surprises that makes her re-think what she knows about desire and lust and right and wrong!

    –>#6 –The Blaspheming One

    I use this one a lot in my current erotica WIP. I guess for me it’s more than just a sign of the intensity of the orgasm – although it is that – it’s more of an emotional thing. I have such mixed feelings about religion. I know you’d think a writer or erotic horror wouldn’t have much time for religion but it really is a topic that haunts me. (see this post https://erickeyswriter.wordpress.com/2015/04/13/eight-minutes-of-surrender/ and this post https://erickeyswriter.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/why-the-blood-the-glory-and-the-grace/ )

    For me, anyway, erotica, lust and horror all point us toward the messy seams of reality. They pump our brains into states where reality is unrealized and things that once seemed impossible suddenly seem real. Anything can happen in those moments.

    So, when one of my characters has a blaspheming orgasm, a lot more is happening. Maybe the reader doesn’t know it, maybe the character doesn’t know it, but the writer knows it and maybe something of that knowing is transferred to the reader.

    Ugh… I’m getting self-important again!

    Anyway, just my two cents!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going to read some of your stuff when I get the chance!

      I agree…from the point of view of a character and an individual. Those sorts of orgasms only happen when you’re pushed beyond your limits…or your perception of your limits. Then it’s more cathartic than anything else. There’s a loss of control which is completely contradictory to what we’re expected to experience.


      1. –>”Those sorts of orgasms only happen when you’re pushed beyond your limits…or your perception of your limits.”

        Yes! In fact the key word is perception, right? Not only are you pushed beyond your perceived limits, you can’t help but wonder – maybe not consciously – what else you’ve been perceiving that isn’t really true/isn’t really there. And also, what might you not be perceiving that is there? So, there is something mystical about it.

        Anyway, those two links in my last comment are to some autobiographical stuff that is relevant. If you’re interested in my ficiton, you might want to start with For the Glory. It’s my only explicitly BD/SM work. Some related themes come up in Grace and Blood and Mstislav, but given what I’ve seen on your blog, FTG may be the place to start. Unless you’re in more of a horror mood.

        For the Glory – http://www.amazon.com/Glory-Erotic-BDSM-Story-ebook/dp/B00MWJ7HYE/
        Mstislav – on smashwords – free today: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/558481
        Mstislav on Amazon – http://www.amazon.com/Mstislav-Vengeance-Glory-Eric-Keys-ebook/dp/B00RDPENHG
        Blood and Grace – http://www.amazon.com/Grace-Blood-lust-blood-could-ebook/dp/B00L9S5K8E/

        For the Glory is about as close to an erotic romance as I will ever write. It’s got just one couple and they are clearly monogamous, but it’s also a pretty weird relationship.

        Blood and Grace is a sort of Southern Gothin erotica piece. It’s probably my best reviwed work. I’m working on a sequel to it right now.

        Mstislav is pretty much hardcore monster porn with some dubcon and Futanari thrown in for good measure! In a weird way, it’s also my most overtly metaphysical work. It’s tough to describe but I think it’s fun. And depraved and sick and depressing… But also fun. Weird, huh?

        And if you’d rather save some money, I am almost always willing to trade copies for honest reviews.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s